At 61

So tonight for relief society they had a lady who is 61 come in and teach us a little about self defense.  I always say this but I really do hope that when I am that age, I am still going strong, running, training, kicking butt!!!  She was awesome and it reminded me of when I was in HS and took a self defense class and how empowering it makes you feel!  It made me want to go sign up tomorrow, if only it wasn't so expensive!

She was LDS which was great because she related so many things to the gospel.  The biggest thing I got out of it which hit home was how we have the power to control our head and yes we have all heard this before, but it really hit me when she talked about not letting ourselves become our own victims.  We have strength and we have the Lord and all we have to do is dig down deep and find it.  So I decided I'm going to write little sticky notes with things on them; and the first one is going to say...

1. I am not a victim
 the rest something like this...
2. I am strong
3. I am going to take control of my situation
4. The Lord is with me and together we are even stronger
5. Knowledge is power

Random I know, but those are all things that are extremely pertinent to me lately.  I have totally allowed myself to be victimized by our situation.  Instead of blaming Jake's boss for everything, we need to take control (which we are, but just continue) of our situation and keep trying to find a better job and know that our Heavenly Father is mindful of our situation.

The other night in my prayer I felt very strongly that I just needed to have patience.  PATIENCE, is so hard for me.  As I think it is for most people, however it's even harder when you need something so bad and feel like your doing everything you possibly can.  I think that is when we have to keep doing everything we can but trust Heavenly Father in the bigger picture and know that soon things will get better!

I feel like we are taking all the right steps, Jake is starting to interview at firms, I am going back to school, and things are looking better, again it goes back to patience.

The other thing I keep thinking about is something I keep hearing, again; going back to patience.  However, this is more of a question than a statement, the question being... when we are tested how we react to that test is just as important as the test itself.  So far I think I have failed.  I have allowed myself to wallow in self pity instead of being the fighter I know I am.  I think it's time for a change.


I am a FIGHTER,  I am not a QUITTER, and I am not a VICTIM!  I (we) will get through this and we will be stronger because of it!

I love when Heavenly Father smacks you in the face so gently, but the power is still there as if you fell off a seat!